Parenting is not a term or a word, its a journey with almost no end. I have never met a parent which are carefree about their children. Whether they are young or at old age, they keep worrying about their children. But sometimes that worry is natural and sometimes unnecessary. So now the question is how to overcome this unnecessary worrying phase? And the answer is good parenting. If you adapt characteristics of good parenting and perform well as a parent then you will start keeping trust in your children and then you won’t worry.
So what do you call qualities of good parenting? Taking care of child’s health, his education, future and always running after your child so that he or she can behave like an adult, exactly like you. If you are in this type of parent’s category, then my friend, you are probably not a good parent. A good parents are those who works on the sustainable development of child and not only on the temporary one. That is why being a good parent is a challenge. Here I would like to mention a definition:
"A good parent is the one who not focus only about child's development but also about his inner peace"
Styles and stages of parenting
As I have already mentioned that child care is an endless journey, So stages does’nt matter in this. But yes, because of different stages style of parenting plays important role. Basically, there are two types of parenting one is verbal and other is action. In verbal one you you instruct, talk, discuss and listen to your child and in action one you do something and your that action becomes a lesson or teaching for your child. And in my consideration the action parenting is more sensitive then the verbal one. Because when you tell something to your child, you tells like a good teacher and when you do something like talking, eating anything, most of the time you forget that your child is observing you. That is why your oral teachings and your actions should resemble otherwise your child either will get confused or he or she will ask you and that will make you embarrass. So here are some important qualities of good parenting or characteristics of good parenting which will take you little deeper.
Love and patience
I don’t even need to write about love because that is natural but if we talk about patience then you have to be patient with your children specially with stubborn children. Because they wont listen and learn in one time lesson. Most of the children takes time in learning and adapting. That is why, this property of good parenting takes time to give better outcomes.
Not only children but everyone in this world wants to be trusted. That is completely psychological. If you say someone that you trust him then he start behaving like trust worthy person( this a deep concept I will write that some other time). Same happens with the children. Tell your child that you have faith in him and treat them as a mature trust worthy person. Share some of your small secrets to your child and tell him not to tell to anybody and I am sure he wont open his mouth. This is one of my favourite characteristics of good parenting.
Guidance is the backbone of parenting. Guide your child But not every time. Sometimes let your child learn himself. But when to guide and when not to guide is another important thing. If the task or any kind of job is little risky or might be harmful then guidance is required. But if you know your child is experienced enough to do that then let him explore.
Observation is as essential as teaching in parenting. Why observation is important because you need to know more about your child so that you can use the required method of parenting. Suppose, if you know your child does not listen well but he always keeps an eye on your actions, then you need to use your actions as a teaching for him and vice versa.
Talk positive, act positive and give positive feedback about almost everything. Even about negative things you should show case negative points as a positive one. ” a single seed of negativity can become the whole jungle”. Because of this negative attitude you can make your child stubborn.
Discipline and routine
This is crucial for everyone. You need to be little firm with your child as well as with you. That is why, this is one of the toughest characteristics of good parenting. Make time table of daily activities like time of lunch and dinner or chocolate day, ice cream day, sweet day etc so that they wont ask you about chocolate except chocolate day and so on. You should be like a hard working teacher, a supportive friend, a lifetime free guide but a smart accountant. Keep an eye on your spending too.
Don’t complain about you children neither to them nor to anyone in front of them. Complains creates negativity. If you complain, they will start thinking negative about you and that will be the biggest loss of any parent’s life. When they do something wrong, be patient and talk to them in personal. By doing this, you will feel an understanding between you and your child.
Give them responsibilities
This point is related to trust. If you want your child to become a responsible person then give him small responsibilities even at early age. And guide your child in how to fulfill that responsibility( if required). Child psychology works like that only. Most of the child wants to take responsibilities but we do opposite.
Parents are the best examples for children. So be careful about yourself. You don’t know but your each and everything is under observation. Your stuff, your language, your habits, your actions, your teachings like everything. So you have to become as an example as you want your child to be.
Problem solving attitude
The main problem of every problem is the problem itself. If your child tells you about his problems, then turn his focus towards solution. And present problem as a fun, challenge or game. In this way he will develop the habit of solving problems by his own.
Characteristics of good parenting you need to know
I think a good parent is a continous learner. Observe yourself and try to change yourself, if required. So here are some daily habits to get the properties of good parenting;
- eat and sleep on time
- eat slowly
- drink water while sitting
- don’t shout about anything
- maintain a positive atmosphere in home
- work on time and sleep on time
- watch inspiring movies with family and discuss about that
- discuss your problems to your children and ask them to find solution
- accept and confess your mistakes
- use magical words sorry and thank you whenever required
- listen to your children don’t ignore them because of your work pressure
- be a role model for them
- be the one, you want your child to become
Characteristics of good parenting is a deep concept. But I don’t understand why we take this lightly. Though our future directly depends on our good upbringing but still we put focus on child education and a good earning source. We invest time and money to become an engineer or doctor and not on a good mom or dad. Though it is a dream for everyone to get married and to have babies one day but still we don’t prepare for that. If we put focus on good upbringing then we can secure our future and our child’s future as well. That is why I always say child care should become a compulsory part of academics.